Men And Wal-Mart

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Men And Wal-Mart

WARNING TO ALL MEN - always go with your partner to Wal-Mart.

If you do not, you will risk the occurrence one or more of the following:

• A hefty credit card bill for items you never knew you needed
• A hefty credit card bill for items you suddenly realise you cannot carry back on the plane without a large excess baggage charge
• Large quantities of food you couldn’t get through unless you are there for a month
• Missing out on all sorts of ‘Men’s’ stuff you would not think would be there.

Guys, seriously, Wal-Mart is the only – the only – hypermarket/department store I have ever enjoyed visiting. We can talk about the downside of letting your partner loose in Wal-Mart on their own, but if you always go with them, that risk is diminished greatly. So let us ignore that and talk about the fun we boys can have.

• Every possible piece of fishing tackle you could think of is available; Deep sea, fly and coarse are all there ; bait, tackle bags, rods, books, flies, etc etc. Half an hour or so of enjoyment in that section of the shop.
• Golf balls, gloves, bags, socks, novelty items etc are all there at ridiculously low prices. It is well worth buying enough gloves to last you for a year at home. The clubs are all aimed at raw beginners and so I didn’t linger too long there (my trip to Edwin Watts shop was in the diary!!), however, items such as a grip cleaning kit, grip replacement kit, trolley brolly etc were irresistible. Another half an hour of enjoyment, and a few things in the trolley.
• Guns, guns and more guns. I was shocked at first, but then enjoyed half an hour or so viewing and handling the shotguns and hunting rifles.
• Then there is the electrical department ; tripods for your digital camera and video camera - $10, Game Boys at about half the UK price (games the same), walkie-talkies for the theme parks $20 (and great fun), dirt-cheap digital cameras (and I mean dirt cheap – about $60), underwater disposable cameras etc.
• Sports stuff to try out like baseball bats, gloves and balls. American footballs to throw, loads of sports gear and clothing for every sport you can imagine. Great stuff for the swimming pool that is so cheap you will not mind leaving it behind.
• The booze department – well it would be a shame not to stock up a bit from here.
• The DIY department - drills, saws, workbenches, spanners, socket sets, hammers, and many more things tucked away.

There are still many more departments still to see, but by now it is now probably time to push the laden trolley off to meet the other half.

Once you have carefully examined her trolley and questioned the need for everything other than the food you can be adamant that yes, you do need everything you have bought. Through the checkout, fill up with cheap petrol and home to try out your new toys and everything else you never knew you needed.

It takes a strong man to walk around Wal-Mart and not buy anything at all. Either that or you are broke.

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